Pain, Heartache & Inspiration

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit”
Napoleon Hill

116 años. ¡116 years old!
Originally uploaded by Fano_Quiriego.

Tell me this photograph didn’t just utterly blow you away.

Boy, do i ever miss my grandmothers.

It’s not only visually appealing… but breathtaking, inspiring, and yet still, slightly heartbreaking. A whirlwind of emotions arose within me when I stumbled upon this gem. Every wrinkle, just enhances her true beauty. Every wrinkle, tells yet another tale. I just haven’t been able to stop myself from staring at her.. Oh! The stories she could tell. I continue to wonder so many things…

What challenges did she face in her life?.. What struggles did she overcome?…. Where did she find her source of strength?….What joys, and sorrows would she share with me?…What could I learn from her?… and a zillion other questions I would ask if given the oppurtunity. So, What questions does she pose in your mind? Leave a comment, and let me know!

This absolutely amazing portrait was a much needed source of inspiration today. To be honest, it has been an incredibly frustrating 24 hours. Actually, frustrating isn’t even the right word. Disappointing, discouraging, disbelief.. are just a fistful of the terms that immediatly come to mind.

 “Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” 
-Paulo Coelho

“An excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded.”
-Alexander Pope

As some of you may know, I’ve been in almost constant pain due to a few severe toothaches over the past month. Daily calls, were placed to my dentist’s office… all unanswered, all unreturned. This is after months of similar troubles with their office. To make a long, boring and needlessly dramatic story short.. The first I heard from him was yesterday, when he informed me that he was refusing me treatment due “to the complexity of my needs“. He was my second to last resort. Thing is, he had no trouble working with/on me in years past. It is only when I wouldn’t commit to a $25,000-$35,000 treatment plan that this decision was apparently made. It comes down to the almighty dollar, but he’s using my disorder as an excuse. What a load of….

Trying to find dental care when you have Tourette’s Syndrome?
(my facial tics make it necessary for me to be sedated, and more time to be set aside for an appointment)
Well, it is like trying to nail jello to a tree.

Every time I am refused treatment, I feel like the 9 year old little girl I once was, that was made to stand in front of a room full of laughing kids until my tics stopped. This of course, exasperated them. Then there was the time the substitute nun attempted an exorcism on me with a classroom full of children … ahh, I don’t miss those days.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I… I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
-Robert Frost

On most days, I am glad I had these trials to endure, they truly are part of what made me who I am today. But days like today, well.. it’s just not so easy. I often wonder why I am faced with this particular issue time & time again .. could it be it’s given to me repeatedly to allow me the chance to handle it differently? That,is a thought for another day.

Enough of my pity party .. it’s time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and remind myself of the things in life I am grateful for. You, my dear altered art community – are on that list. You never cease to stop inspiring & motivating me.

“Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.”
Henry Ward Beecher

Here’s to better things! – Chrysti

17 Responses

  1. Chrysti I’m with all my heart with you, hope your tooth problems will be resolved very very fast and has for that dentist I’m sure there’s others that will accept to work on you….I’m sending you lots of good vibes on your way :)
    And yes hurtful things makes us stronger but you have also the right to not feel well.
    Just transform this in beautiful energy :)
    Big Kiss
    Sofia :)

  2. The many emotions that went thru me reading this Chrysti….and no I don’t mean pity towards is towards others that try to make us feel in- adequate…. despite the things that one must face in life, truly…do make us stronger…I know how the toothache pain can feel but I am sure it is nothing compared to how you felt with that dentist and his almighty dollar issues….Persevere! You are strong girl…I know it…I’ve seen the things you have accomplished….The things you say just make me keep pushing and keep going…I agree with Sophia..transform it. You will find the right dentist….and all things work out….Big Hugs! Nancy

  3. Sheesh I meant to say something about this lady….Wow 116 yrs old…can you imagine?! Makes you wonder all the things shes seen and done…wow…Im almost speechless…..I too miss my grandmother…grandfather too…I can’t wait to see them when it is my time…I am not afraid of dying…I am afraid of living as long as this 116yr old lady …my goodness lol…Much love …Nancy

  4. Chrysti…i’m so sorry that your dentist has given you the run around and that you are having tooth problems….tooth problems are the worst so i can understand totally the discomfort you must be in. I hope that you can find a dentist soon that can help you. That photograph of the old woman is amazing…i can’t imagine living that long! I recently found your blog and have enjoyed reading it, I appreciate your honesty and being so open :)

  5. Wow…I didn’t know you had tourettes~is that how you spell it~

    you are an amazing & inspiring gal …I love to come here & read all your lovely postings, not only are you a wonderul artist, you also are a captivating writer~

    hope progress is happening with your tooth~ xo ~Izabella

  6. This photo is so amazing. Sorry to hear of your troubles, especially dental ones. You have written some beautiful things here…so open with such clarity. Thank you for sharing and I hope things improve soon.

  7. Thanks so VERY much y’all. I’m trying hard to keep my head focused on what needs done, and the best ways to do it…wallowing never really accomplishes anything.. but we’re all entitled to a pity party every now & again.. besides, what better use could there be for pointy hats!

    I have one more optioon within my city, a program i hope to get accepted into.. we’ll see. if not, it’ll be time to start looking outta state. Ugh.

    Now, i need to decide if i want to legally pursue this as well. Tough choice.

  8. Chrysti, first thing, you are amazing what you have accomplished whilst going through all this ‘pain’ is unbelievable. You not only have todays tooth pain, the rejection just makes the past pain so real again and that hurts all over.
    If its any consilation you have made 230 people happy in such a short time, you have encouraged creativity and the results are amazing, your energy bounces off my computer and drives me on. So multiply that by 230 thats some love and brilliantness you are responsible for. Great big hug for you and will pray (if thats ok) for your tooth/dentist situation to resolve itself and for you to continue to help so many people create. Love Judy xx

    The beautiful lady pic – I look at her and think she was a baby, girl and women just like me, once upon a time I would have just looked and thought thats an old lady! It took my mum to die for me to realise that ‘older’ people are human, I think thats when I ‘grew up’. Sorry this isnt coming out very well- but I mean they laughed, loved, lost, desired, disliked, were passionate. Its a beautiful picture and thankyou once again for stimulating our senses.
    You really are an asset to the WWW, thankyou for being there; so 230 people (at the very least) could find you. Jx

  9. hi there chrysti! i’m really new to the “art on the net” scene. actually, you are how i discovered flickr… (i saw a piece of yours on another site) and boy am i grateful i looked you up! you are quite the inspiration to me… you are INSPIRED as well! i can’t imagine the work you are doing to get the try-it group going, plus everything else that’s going on… anyway… :) i just wanted to tell you thank you. hang in there. this is the “refiner’s fire” as my mom used to call trials. she also always told me to “be like a duck… and let it all roll off your back like water.” :)
    it’s funny… i don’t know you, but i feel like i do… i really hope you can figure out that dentist thing! that’s sucky. you’re in my prayers. i look up to you!
    thanks for EVERYTHING!!

  10. I can’t tell you how touched I am by all your kind words.. really, i’m speechless. I so appreciate all your insights, thoughts and prayers.

    I wish i had time to write more, but i’m so behind.. i’ts pitiful!

  11. […] Alright, wish me luck tomorrow y'all…. I have an interview with the Hospital Setting Dental Clinic at UNC, I NEED to get accepted into this program. Say a prayer, send me luck, bribe the clinic…whatever it takes pleeeeeease! For those that missed it, you can read more about this ordeal here. […]

  12. Chrysti, my thoughts and prayers are with you, I hope it works out and you are accepted at the clinic. Toothaches are awful, I have had experience with them and there is nothing good to say about them.

    I agree with all that Judy Scott said, I feel the same way. Good luck, ((((HUGS!)))) Lori

  13. Thanks so much Lori!! It seems like they accepted me into the program at UNC .. will update asap!

  14. […] Can I just tell you… I have been soooo amazed, genuinely touched, and rendered speechless at the kind responses & inquiries I've received regarding the dental drama I've been going through. It never ceases to amaze me, the power a "stranger" can have.. or the profound impact a few thoughtful words can make. Your support, and concern has truly made an otherwise difficult time, far more bearable. […]

  15. […] I have no idea how in the last 2 weeks went from mildly chaotic, to I can't get a grip! But it did, and I *think* things are slightly back in control now. If you missed my prior posts on the dental drama that's been occupying my little life, click here & here. […]

  16. Chrysti:
    De todos los comentarios recibidos en mis fotografías del flickr el que me dejaste en el retrato de Doña Josefina es de los que más me han emocionado.
    Luego vi como incluiste su foto en tu blog y tus visitantes empezaron a escribir sobre ella y a enviarle bendiciones.
    Eso es emocionante.
    Como sin conocernos personalmente podemos compartir emociones y buenos deseos.
    Doña Josefina, también llamad “Pita” por su familia, está enferma.
    Tiene 116 años.
    Y ahí está la explicación de sus males.
    ¿Sabes Chrysti?. Es extraño. Pero no me siento triste. Doña Josefina tiene que descansar y tengo la certeza de que lo hará junto a Dios.
    No sé si se recuperará de sus males… lo que sí me queda claro es que ya tiene un lugar esperándola en el cielo.
    La recordaré con gran alegría.
    Recordaré su buen humor.
    Las charlas que sostuvimos.
    Y junto con ella recordaré a quienes al través del ciberesapacio la conocieron y la amaron.
    Un abrazo para ti y saludos para todos.
    Y no olvidemos que sus secreto es… trabajar.
    Fano Campoy.

    I Translated this via babelfish..

    Of all the commentaries received in my photographies of flickr the one that you left me in the picture of Doña Josefina is of that they have moved to me more. Soon I saw as you included its photo in your blog and your visitors began to write on her and to send blessings to him. That is exciting. As without knowing us personally we can share emotions and good desires. Doña Josefina, also you call “Toots” by its family, is ill. It is 116 years old. And there it is the explanation of its evils. You know Chrysti. He is strange. But I do not feel sad. Doña Josefina must rest and I have the certainty that she will do it next to God. I do not know if one will recover of its evils… what yes I have left clear is that already has a place waiting for it in the sky. I will remember it with great joy. I will remember its good humor. Char those that we maintained. And along with she I will remember those who to the traverse of ciberesapacio knew it and they loved it. A hug for you and greetings for all. And we do not forget that its secret is… to work. Fano Campoy.

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