Depression and Art

 Handle With Care

Handle With Care – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

Sorry I haven’t been around much — I have been in sort of a funk, or more accurately a depressive cycle.. and it’s never been my strong suit to communicate effectively when I am at that end of my mood swings.

It always seems to come across wrong… If what I have to say is even coherent… the words read as if I am asking for help, or sympathy.. and I’ve never been comfortable with either of those things. Besides, it’s almost impossible for words to capture the depth of the emotions, those that are also bipolar, or have lived with severe depression, can probably relate. Words almost seem to gloss it over, trivialize it… and I end up reading it, and feeling worse. So, I’m not going there right now.

 There Passed a Dream

 There Passed a Dream - Closeup

There Passed a Dream – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Art Squared Piece on canvas
4″ x 4″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Believe in the Impossible

Believe in the Impossible – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Sailing the Heaven Heights

Sailing the Heaven Heights – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 “I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?… I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don’t want any more vicissitudes, I don’t want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel

 Wonders are Not Dead

Wonders are Not Dead – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Mans Best Friend

Man’s Best Friend – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti
So, What do I do when I feel myself slipping a bit lower like this?
(aside from becoming reclusive so I can focus)

I force myself to do anything productive..

Literally, some days just taking a shower is a chore. I make a to do list, that has realistic, simple to-do’s. Attainable things. The absolute necessary things. I try like hell not to focus on all the other things looming, and only knock out the small things that I have control over. It’s been my experience, that when I remind myself I do have some power  – I slowly pull out of the depressive cycles, and I think that’s the place I’m in now… slowly pulling out. Sometimes, I just wish I was like everyone else.. but really, we all have our own struggles, this just happens to be one of mine.

 Look Out!

Look Out! – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Into the Forest

Into the Forest – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 I Chose Song

I Chose Song – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

I truly do believe that Art Heals, and the pieces listed here have all been finished recently, and put up for sale… Odd, how the money struggles that partially triggered this down episode, are the very thing that forces me to sit in my studio and create. Creating, always relaxes me… and every once in awhile, I find it to produce a life changing moment.

 Elements

Elements – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Began to Sing

Began to Sing – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 In Life's Garden

In Life’s Garden – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

Thank heavens I started these pieces so long ago, as I’ve caught a serious case of Art Block, and once I regain a bit more control over my emotions, and life.. It’s time to tackle that block, if it hasn’t relieved itself. (A post for another day – ways I break that block). Fortunately, these all needed one or 2 elements to be complete, and they were done. A low pressure way to create, and feel productive…while relaxing a bit.

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.”
Tori Amos

I’ve continued on my quest to get organized again, as I know it will be a HUGE relief once I do. I’ve been trying not to let things pile up as I have in prior ‘episodes‘.. little things like these, have kept what’s bad, from getting worse. Hopefully I’ll find myself on that even, emotional keel soon… I can see it coming, I just need to remind myself of that, and not give up when it seems to hard. 

 Seriously

Seriously – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Gather the Beautiful Blooms

Gather the Beautiful Blooms – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Art Squared Piece
4″ x 4″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Official Angel Duties

 Official Angel Duties

Official Angel Duties – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

On a more positive note… I have a trip coming up, that I am soooo looking forward to. I get to see one of my oldest friends, meet her almost 1 year old son, (haven’t seen her in 5+ years), and spend a week in the beautiful North Carolina Mountains… some much needed quiet time surrounded by breathtaking scenery. Perfect. It’s just a week or 2 away and this opportunity couldn’t have presented itself at a more perfect time! It’s kept me motivated, to pull myself from the depths of depression, and forces me to retrain the negative thoughts that bounce around my head constantly. I suppose life really does work in mysterious ways, you just have to look, and recognize it.

– Chrysti

 Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Collectible Art Card (ACEO)
2.5″ x 3.5″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

 Baby Love

Baby Love – For Sale Here!
One of a Kind Art Squared Piece
4″ x 4″
by Raleigh, NC Altered Artist Chrysti

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30 Responses

  1. I am sorry you are struggling right now. I can’t think of much that a trip to the mountains can’t – if not cure completely – ease considerably. There is something about going up up up that refreshes and settles the soul and often opens up a new view or perspective.

    I wish you the very best.

  2. It sounds like you know yourself pretty well and have some control over your clouds. Some control is better than none at all. How wonderful that you’ve learned to redirect yourself into your art :)

  3. I totally understand everything your saying darlin….the trip will do you good! Your art is amazing girl…it just gets better and better! Have missed you bunches…glad to see you here again! :) Hugs!

  4. Glad to hear from you Chrysti and understand 100%… i also have some of the same problems… enjoy your time in the mountains… hugs, Ruth

  5. Ooops!! I am loving your art work more and more all the time… good work girl…

  6. Hi Chrysti—you are always an inspiration to me. I love your personality, your warmth, kindness, and compassion and that all shows through in your beautiful art and words. it’s great that you will get away for a bit. let me know if you need help with the organizing, just email me, I have tried alot of it as I am adhd, so I need structure and organization to keep me moving in the right direction. the good thing is that you recgnize and know who you are, what you believe in and what you can and cannot change. I am hoping for you to have a fresh beginning tomorrow, that you emerge refreshed after your trip and that you will continue being who you are: a wonderfully talented, compassionate, kind and generous person inside and out! hugs, Lia

  7. Chrysti, SOOO much LOVELY art! I love all the birds you’ve used!
    I also appreciate your candidness about how you’re struggling. I’ll be praying for you this week.
    Hopping over to your ebay listings now….
    Cara

  8. Sorry to hear things aren’t going so well. I hope you enjoy your trip.

    As always, your art is beautiful.

  9. I understand you soooooo well, had a big depression years ago and if you read my blog is like everythings coming back again…. I suffer from spasmophily and anxiety, which reveals throu’ pains in my body. It’s hard but Art helps me, I even believe that it’s my only medecine….
    Go and enjoy your trip, forget everything for a while.

  10. Chrysti — I know exactly where you are, i am struggling there too.

    You and your art are so impressive, both in quality *and* in volume. What a gift not to lose that impulse in a depressive cycle.

    I hope your trip be restorative,

    Kim

  11. Well! You just explained me to me! Where you said that about coming across incoherent, like you want pity, and not liking that. I always noticed that I avoid people when I am on the downswing, and now I know why. I just dont want to feel that way so I stay away til I feel better. I just need to sit in my studio and make art like you do. You go girl.

  12. ……ditto to all the above, need I say more. much love Judy x

  13. I just sent you a comment and I think it somehow went to the wrong post. Anyway, your thoughts resonate and I too fight the fight. I know for me that art is an outlet that provides relief like no other….seems that way for you. Love your work and will be checking in ! Wishing you a restorative, peaceful trip.

  14. You have a precious support group here! Here’s praying today is a brighter, happier day. Your art is quite fabulous and very happy for one who is feeling depressed. There is so much dark art to wade through that doesn’t discuss their present state of mind, but I’m thinking depressed. Your work is just very happy, and girl, I have to know how you do the berry work. Absolutely devine. Now, off to see if I can find a snippet of how you do them…smiles.

  15. I understand, I truly, truly do – to some level, since I think no one can fully understand the excat emotions of another! If you ever need to vent or chat – email me!

    I just spent the last 10 minutes searching Stacie’s (of bailey’s bliss) blog since I remembered this great post she did with links aboujt depression and creativity… thought you might like to see (if you haven’t already): http://baileysbliss.blogs.com/journal/2006/04/creativity_and_.html

  16. I am sorry that you feel this way…I have a hard time understanding depressive people now, maybe because I have entered another stage of existence.I think and feel how short this life is!

    I have suffered from depression for more than 10 years and looking back I feel I have wasted so much energy and potential on this!
    There were many moments I could have decided to help myself rise back…

    I often thought being an artist should be being in depression and that it was all easier to make art or write when you feel the violent amount of deepest emotions inside your soul…when everything collapses…
    But nowaday I say this is but crap!
    Yet I know how art saved me from myself!
    I hope it will do it for you too!
    Art is a door, an alley towards the light and when you are in deep dark ocean and feel so sick with those nasty thorny waves you wish for the light so bad!
    I hope they will pierce through, you can reach the other side, the peaceful shore!

    Take good care of you, Blessed be & namasté***

  17. […] Read this post about depression and art. […]

  18. I’m a survivor,of depression.20yrs.worth.You are on the right path,journey forward Chrysti.You have tremendous strength to have come this far.I.too would be happy to chat with you,anytime.Enjoy the view.

  19. I just googled “artist depression” and found you….and 4:50AM….awakened by sadness and uncertainty.
    I read and looked at your art and remembered my own healing….and Inspiration. So much going on right now, it does feel “surreal” and I’m either unable to or just don’t want to talk about it much….and…..you are the one to have assisted me in this time….so I thank you in this lonely moment.

  20. I have seen your work and on flickr but just saw this article on depression and boy it hits home as my husband was in a medical negligience case and became bipolar and disabled from backsurgery…I have been the care taker and the toll it has taken on my life now is unbelieable but God has a away of using it for the good. So many are afraid to talk about depression but it is good that more are letting people know what it is like to live with it and with someone that suffers from it because it is horrible…thanks for sharing…I have so many that call me or email me about depression…it is something that really touches my heart…hugs, cheryl

    icareforyou blog this is our life story I just started…

  21. I came back to the link someone left in one of my swap groups. I am kind of new to your work. I am really impressed. I have dabled in art my whole life. There have been times when I have felt so frustrated because it seems like nothing I do seems to turn out like I want . Like all my creativety is gone. But thinking back it was the dark times the depressed times of my bipolar disorder. It seems like there are times when I can effortlessly create and it is not work but a blissfull joy. I get lost in what I’m doing. Hours can pass and I won’t even notice . I also have fibromyalgia and the pain is not noticable when I am in that state of mind. There are times that I wondered if my medication effected my creativety. I am so happy for you that things are going so well. you really do seem to be a very caring person. Someone to inspire others to be better people.

    Peace,
    Brenda Moss

    http://www.jewelrydoll180.blogspot.com

  22. I LOVE you Ar! I just found you through NetworkedBlogs. I am a fellow wordpresser , and Artist/Architect/Collector of Quotes! the way you have so much on your side bars has truly inspired me! I hope you will come out to visit sometimes, I would love it!
    I am putting you in my Inspiration Blogroll! Ciao bella!

  23. Your work is impressive, I especially like “Handle With Care”, creative and beautiful.
    Keep on going and be positive always

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  25. I love your website, and I especially love this articles.

  26. Your website is very cool. Keep going man!

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