today i am weary…
and my heart. it just aches …
today i am reminded of just how precious life is…
we really must cherish every moment, for there may not be another…
once again i have learned that our life is a gift …
a privilege…
and it’s up to us …
each, and every one of us …
to honor that. to honor – life…
to savor it’s simplest, but often most beautiful pleasures..
to learn from it’s inevitable ugliness …
to find strength in nature, and in ourselves ….
to love with our entire beings ….
to relish life! delight in it’s never-ending miracles…
and appreciate – truly appreciate all we take for granted …
sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
simple, is not necessarily easy
That mutt right there? She’s my heart. My often misunderstood, but ab-so-friggin-lutly-full-of-love dog Sadie. She became mine 15 long years ago, though… today, it feels as if it were just yesterday. She was timid, afraid, unsure of herself and her surroundings.. but magically, she trusted me. ME! She has saved me many times over since.. from myself, from others .. she has given me purpose, when I felt as if I had none… and today,I have to begin to try and make a choice, that is tearing me apart inside. I want to earn that trust she so blindly gave me. I want to save her. I want to fix her. But I can’t. I just.. can’t.
It’s so hard to surrender our control, our faith when we’re rendered helpless. It’s incredibly painful to be the only voice to a living creature ..whose heartbeat might as well be my own.It’s hard to face the harsh realities that lie in front of me, and it’s damn difficult to know, really know what’s right. This is a process, I have never walked along on my own.. but I somehow, have to trust that I will find my way. I just have to believe that i will.
When I began this 29 days of giving, I made a promise to maintain them – regardless of any given day’s circumstances. I meant what I said a few days ago — there is always, always room for kindness within our lives – and perhaps we need to give most, when it’s the most difficult for us to do so.
It brings me extreme joy to know that this project is touching you all. Who would have ever known, that as I faced one of my most challenging decisions my inbox would be overflowing with so many magical, and heartfelt words. Who could have ever known — how close I’d feel to people whose voices i have not heard, whose facesI have not seen. Daily, I am reminded of all that binds us – and all that connects us. You inspire me, and make me want to be better. To be the best me – that I can give to the world.
I could have never predicted how much I’d NEED this. To force myself — to walk away from the heaviest of hurts, and try like hell to find the postive. I dunno… I am oddly grateful that knowing there were people counting on me to somehow provide them with a bit of pleasure, has given me purpose when I most feel like giving up. I am appreciative of this outlet, to provide respite to my overactive brain… Life really does work in mysterious ways.
So today… for the give away — I have decided to bestow three of you with one of these journals…
These are not just ordinary journals you see – these are books filled to the brim with possibilities and power! They are awaiting your touch – a special touch. It is my firm belief whomever wins these magical books of possibility will fill them with dreams and ideas. They shall hold memories and pieces of a life, it shall tell a story and with that – pain will be transformed into beauty. That transformation – that glorious transformation – is the art in the word ‘heart’.
I am asking a tremendous favor of you all today — no matter how strong the urge, please don’t tell me you are sorry… that it will be ok… or try to comfort me… this is a grieving process, one I must come to – and can only come to …alone. It’s part of the circle of life – and a path I must walk on.
I am asking instead that you gift me, with distraction – with a smile – with an inbox full of laughter! there will be time for condolonces later, but right now — today – I need help, learning the real meaning of the word selfless. To get there, I need you to show me the bright side of life, the lighter side… would you do that for me?
So to win one of these magical books of possibility…
- Leave a comment on this post – with a funny ( but clean) joke, or a horridly bad pun. You could tell me something personal if you choose – a funny story, an embarrasing moment, anything you think that will make me smile or laugh. Let’s transform pain, into a wonderous sort of beauty.
- Do this by: Tuesday, December 9th. The 3 Winners will be announced then!
- Enter Day 0 here, Day 1 here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here in addition….
- Forgive me – for not being as witty, or well spoken today.
With Gratitude, Chrysti
Filed under: Contests, Freebies, Personal Stuff, Pets | Tagged: Art, contest, drawing, giveaway, Journals |
Art By Chrysti 
Chrysti,
You are a beautiful person! I’ll share my story with you when you’re ready. Just now, know that you are loved sweet girl!
Julie
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
I was offered a job making venetian blinds, but I turned it down, because it sounded like a shady business.
I asked a factory worker, “Why do you have such a large peak on your cap?”
He said, “That’s my supervisor!”
Hi Chrysti
I’m not gonna tell you I am sorry but I know just what your going through. We went through the same type of situation a few years ago with our dog.
I wish I had a joke to share with you but I don’t. Just know that your in my thoughts!
Arlene
Priests who think themselves good at their job have an altar ego.
O.K. – Enough seriousness. This is the dumbest joke in the world, but it ALWAYS make me laugh!
What’s smaller than a teenie weenie bug?
The bug’s teenie weenie!
http://www.millan.net/funp/120/bdayparade.html
I hope this works.
Scientists have announced that we have made contact with an alien race who’s planet is entirely covered by one gigantic shopping center.
The sceptical scientists didn’t believe it at first, but they’ve now confirmed that it’s a mall world after all.
Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match.
They want to catch him before he strikes again.
Did you hear what the Buddhist Monk said to the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.” LOL
That one always makes me grin.
Peace & Much Love,
~Barb~
What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol.
My favorite “chicken” joke:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the other animals that it could be done.
(Think about it, how many chicken roadkills do you see?)
A pastor came home to the aroma of something delicious cooking in the kitchen. He asks his wife, “Honey, what is that heavenly smell?” She responds, “Oh, that’s the Dam Ham.” The pastor, shocked by his wife’s response, admonishes her, saying, “My dear, there’s no need to use foul language. It stains the soul. You know better than that!” His wife responds, laughing, “No, no, no! Dam is the brand name of the ham! It’s a Dam Ham!” The pastor is very much relieved to hear this. Later on, at dinner time, the Pastor, his wife and their son are sitting at the table and the Pastor says to his wife, “Honey, would you please pass that Dam ham?” Upon hearing this, their son exclaims, “That’s the spirit, pop! Now pass the freakin’ potatoes!”
Lots of love,
Serena
(Sorry to all the blondes…)
How do you know a blonde has been at the computer? There is White Out on the screen.
How can you tell she’s been back to work on it again? There is writing on the White Out.
Ba-dam-bum.
(I hear the phone…it must be Leno!)
Katherine :)
Something wonderful happened to me today. I decided (at the last minute) to attend a concert by the Central Iowa Symphony. As I stepped up to the ticket window, a voice beside me asked if I needed a ticket. I said yes & she handed me a ticket. When I tried to pay her for it, she turned my offer down. Wasn’t that wonderful! Well, as I was enjoying the concert, I decided I would “pay it forward” (the gift of the ticket) by adding to our donation to a food pantry.
May your spirit of giving come back to you in multiple blessings!
xo
I thought I would share this little story with you:
My girlfriend’s 6 year old niece was visiting her the other day. She happened to come into her room while my friend was nursing her baby. She was really intrigued by the whole process. After asking just about every kind of question you could imagine, the little girl stated that her mother had some of those, but she thinks she has forgot how they work.
HA! Good one Char!
…and just because you sound like you need it…
Police in Los Angeles, had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words,
“Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,”
the man shouted,
“That’s not what I said!”2
OR…What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese.
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quatro Sinko
And finally…
What do you call Santa’s Helpers? Subordinate Clauses
I’ll stop before you kick me out. :)
Katherine
I have now commited to 29 days of giving. Thank you Chrysti and God Bless You.
Peace,
Brenda Moss
http://www.jewelrydoll180.blogspot.com
How about a Quote by the well respected past president of the United States? Harry S. Truman. ” Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day”. .. Now there’s an order that I know I will follow !!. OR… I do have a joke that that is has one word that may raise an eyebrow ( not to high ). ‘ Upon exiting from the shower the wife was looking at her reflection critically, her husband entered the room as she complained about the small size of her breast’s, Her husband commented that if she would gently brush the area between her breasts with tissue each day that she may in time see them become quite ample. Skeptical, she asked ” How would you know that?”, his nonchalant reply was simple, ” Well it has worked for your ass “…. I Do hope that was not offensive to anyone, by no means would I want that, but even my mother ( a Saint) chuckled when I told her. I wish you well, You have many smiles and good feelings to keep close to your heart. Sincerely, Sharon ~**~**
My joke might need a little explanation which kinda distracts from the humour I suppose. Anyway It’s my favourite joke. First the explanation incase you don’t have them in the US – an apple puff is a bit like a Danish pastry, sweet and yummy and fattening. So:
*How do you make an apple puff?*
*Chase it round the garden!*
Someone sent me this yesterday it made me smile,hope it does you !
[video src="http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/PerthPurplePenguin/vids/?action=view¤t=cvUMHvLZ.flv" /]
Hugssss
Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens?
They kept going “Bach, Bach, Bach”
One of my many nicknames is Cliché Aimée because I’m always screwing up clichés and of course now I’m drawing a blank! Anyways the one that comes to mind is this one “How about them lemons!” I have better ones just wish I could remember. I had so many of them screwed up my friends wanted me to write a book of screwed up clichés.
:)
You are always cracking us up Chrysti hope we can do the same for you!!!
HUGS!
Aimée
Chrysti:
Can you believe I have sat with this blank screen for over five minutes. I always thought I was kinda funny but now I see I’m snot.
Feeble, I know.
xoxoxoxo
Renee Khan
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit’s hole? Hot cross bunnies.
I’ve heard many jokes over the years, but for some unknown reason, this pathetic joke is the only one I’ve managed to remember.
Oh Dear Chrysti,
I really wish I could try to make you smile today – but I’m out of smiles myself…..it’s been a bad day for me with pain :(
Reading your post reminded me so much of my ‘soxy’ who we had to ‘let go’ just a little while ago. I couldn’t not talk to you – so sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear. I’m sure all those other positive wonderful ladies will fill you with cheer. From me tonight, I just wanted to let you know – you are not alone. You are right about giving to others, your blog has been a joy to me too! Sharing with you any strength I can muster… xo
true story…
me (to my son, probably 4 at the time): who are you?
my son: i’m brendan!
me: i don’t know you. who are you?
my son: i’m brendan, your son!!!
me: i don’t have a son.
my son: but momma, you hatched me!!!!
one of my most favorite memories:)
Laughter is the best medicine, oh Wise woman !
Here is something that made me laugh this week – you can also alter it to show someone other than my sweet niece’s face !
Sending thoughts of love, laughter and smiles to sooth your heart today…
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/R8QbtKZXJApnSXE1mtSw
i was about 19 or 20 and i was driving too fast as usual, going about 55 in a 35 mile per hour zone. i was pulled over by a police officer. he said do you know why i pulled you over? i said why? he said you were going over the speed limit. before i could even think i said, oh i always speed through here. he started laughing out loud. i’m sure he never expected a full confession. he said ok..well then…i’m just going to give you a warning to slow down. you know something?…it actually worked….for a little.
I decided my comment today would be to help you with your decision….”Never Let A Dog Lose His/Her Dignity”. Our family lives by this. Know my heart is with you. My baby bear is now 14. I love her dearly. WARM HUGS, Judy
Ok, I’m good for a laugh. Most embarassing moment…I am 16 & head over heels for a French exchange student named Michelle. He wants help with his math homework. I do my best stuff to impress him including sewing a new pair of low rise pants and crop top ( it is 1970!!!). The big homework night arrives, he knocks on the door and we step outside to the rock wall tosit down to start the math. My Mom opens the door and lets out our dog, Charlie.
(BIG dog!) Charlie walks over to me, hikes his leg and peeeeeeeees all down my newly sewn WHITE pants.
Michelle looks at me and asks if this is an American custom?
I burst into tears, ran for the house and wouldn’t come back out! As it turned out, Michelle was just after my brains and wished for me to DO his homework. LOL No more Frenchies for me!
Hugs,
Cath
Ok, I have one of my own “Kids Say The Funniest Things”. Yesterday my daughter (8 y/o) said that when she goes to Hollywood to see Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift, she thinks she might stay at the Hotel California.
I laughed so hard!
The blonde was upset when she noticed on her driver’s license that she had an F under sex. Pretty bad but I hope it made you smile.
Okay – here’s a few funny, clean AND horridly bad ones for you!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
yeah . . . BAD!
{{BIG HUGS}} from Missouri!
Chrysti – just one more little story . . .
When my little girl was in kindergarten last year, they were painting and working on the color wheel. When she got home she asked me, “Mom, do you know what blue and green make?” I answered, “Blue-green?” She said “No…”, so I answered, “Green-blue?!!” To which she promptly replied, “No Mom . . . it makes aquamagreen!” Cracked me up!
. . . and YES, this is a scrapbook story! LOL! ;)
I played Mrs. Claus yesterday for a local club’s fundraiser… sweetest story of the day was a little boy about 4. When he first walked in he came over to show me his Rudolph shirt and his Santa doll — but was very polite. He asked where Santa was & I told him he was putting the reindeer away because we couldn’t leave them in the street or they’d fly away or get hit by a car or something. He was cool with that..
After first storytime (which I did on & off at random times for different groups) he came over by himself and said, “where did Santa put the reindeer a while ago?” so I told him there was a man who lived outside of town who had a big barn and he was letting Santa put the reindeer in there and giving them hay and corn while were were there to visit with them. He was great with that….
After the 2nd storytime when the other kids cleared away he came over & put his hand on my knee and looked at me so seriously & said, “You said Santa put the sleigh & reindeer in a barn?” I said yes and he said, “Well how is Santa going to get home?” and I said, “Oh he’ll go get them from the barn and he’ll fly back to the North Pole to finish working on toys for Christmas.” He says, “But how will YOU get home??”
I said, “I’ll ride in the sleigh with Santa.” He goes, “But where will you SIT?” I said that since Santa didn’t bring his BIG bag of toys there would be plenty of room me to sit in the sleigh with him.”
He literally said, “WHEW… well THANK GOODNESS for that!”
I thought it was sweet & touching that he was concerned for me having a ride back to the North Pole. :)
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!!
***********
Why was the sand wet?
Because the seaweed.
***********
A skeleton walks into a bar, says to the bartender;
“I’ll have beer thanks, and a mop…”
Don’t count me as part of the draw (because I’ve already been touched by your Christmas Magic). But, I wanted to share a funny joke with you (first though, I’m sorry if I offend anyone. The goal is suprised laughter!)…
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men: That night all three will meet their men while wearing a racy leather bodice, stilettos, and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again…..
The engaged girlfriend said: ‘The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4’ stilettos and mask. He said, ‘You are the woman
of my life, I love you, then we made love all night long.’
The mistress stated: ‘Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’ say a word, and we made love all night long, too.’
The married one sighed andsaid: ‘The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night. Then I put on the leather bodice, super stilettos, and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, ‘Hey Batman, what’s for
dinner ?’
One awful pun coming up…
I visited Mersea Island recently and all the pubs were closed.
Went into a cafe for a cup of tea instead. The waitress asked what kind of tea I wanted and I asked her what kind of tea did they have. She replied – Indian tea – Chinese tea and even Koala Bear tea.
I’ve never heard of Koala Bear tea and so ordered it. It came and I tried to drink it – no way – it was full of lumps.
Called the waitress back to complain about the lumps in the tea and she said :-
Of course Madam – the Koala tea of Mersea is not strained !
I have a Yorkie that seriously never leaves my side when I am home and sleeps in my bed until I arrive home. Naturally every where I go in the house he is right on my heels. He used to have this routine of following me straight into the bathroom and jumping onto the toilet seat while I looked in the mirror. One day he ran so fast and jumped without even looking and the toilet seat had been left up. He dived head first into the toilet. He still follows me into the bathroom but he has learned to sit by the door. :)
Chrysti-
I am so sorry about the decision you are being forced to make regarding your Sadie. She’s beautiful. Healing mojo to both of you. -R
Three men walked into a bar. The other one ducked.
“Darling,” said the swooning man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?”
“Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she said. “But what will you live on?”
—————————————————————————-
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that the Lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A backwards poet writes inverse.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
“Dam”
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
= )
This is from second grade and my little sister and I always cracked up over it!
What’s Big, and Red and Eats Rocks?
The Big, Red Rock-Eater!
Oh I don’t have a joke…hmm.
I will have to think of one and
come back :)
But I do have a Give Away.
To promote warm hands around
the world I am giving away a pair
of knitted fingerless mittens made
by me :).
Hugs~kimme
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the hell — they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party
atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary,
thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we
could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20%
of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline
industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden
opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Here’s a story about my nephew who was young at the time. Terry went to my parents every year during the summertime at the Oregon Coast for a visit and he always like to earn some money so he could buy a new kite or something to play on the beach with. One year my father gave him the job of pulling nails from boards. He was working away and all of a sudden got a nail that punctured his skin so my parents took him to the ER and they had to give him a tentus shot and some other things and wasn’t happy at all. When they were walking out of the ER room, my nephew looked up at his grandfather and said “I wish I would have never taken the job.” We laughed about that for years and I still do. Terry is a grown engineer now and even laughs about it when we bring it up. Nancy
My four year old, Lily, told me this on the way home from preschool on Friday, it is not particlulary funny, but to a four year old, it was frickin’ hilarious
Here is our conversation…
Lily- “Mom why did the chicken cross the rode?”
Me- ” I don’t know, did he want to get to the other side?”
Lily “NO! He crossed the rode so that I wouldn’t cook him and eat his legs”
I was kinds surprised, it didn’t give me a great mental picture… but as soon as she said the word “legs” shebursted out laughing, and did not stop for at least 5 mins… i am thinking she got this joke from one of her little friends. It was cute though :)
Julia
Hope these make you feel better:
************ How the Fight Got Started **********
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that’s when the fight started.
********************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof e nough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’
And that’s when the fight started…..
********************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And that’s when the fight started….
********************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And that’s when the fight started…..
************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’
He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’
‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s when the fight started…..
My sons favorite joke:
who lives next to Spiderman?
…
…
…
…
Batman?
no!
…
…
Superman?
no!
…
…
giggle, giggle
His neighbour!
LOL
My son is just toooo cute!
XO, Marion
I had to stop reading the other comments long enough to send you this.
When my grandson was about 5 years old my DH took him to the fair grounds with him. They had a kind of flea market sat up and when my grandson saw all the stuff he says ” Oh my cow grandpa,oh my cow.”
We still laugh about that.
A little boy goes into a fish and chip shop with his mother. They wait in line to be served, and in front of them is a man who, from the patch on his jacket, belongs to a gang. Every exposed part of his skin is covered with tatoos.
The little boys mouth drops open in amazment
“Mum!” he says in a loud whisper…(as only little boys can..)
“Mum!…Look at that man! He must have been really good! Look at all his stickers!”
As the man turned to leave the shop, the boy’s mother noticed the man was smiling.
Blessings from Corrine in NZ who has also walked the same path you are on now.
Ok, you want a smile? Check out my blog. I just put up a few photos of my recent new creations. I just started sewing a few months ago and am lovin’ it!
I’m giving it my best shot, so here it goes…
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.
I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register.
“Cash or charge?” the clerk asked.
“Cash,” I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.”
“Shall I giftwrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or are you going back there?”
I am saddened to hear about Sadie, we had to make the same decision not long ago with our Dixie. Our fur babies become such a big part of our heart with all of their love for us. Knowing she is not hurting anymore is what has gotten me through the moments I think of her and looking at her Doggie book with all our memories is a blessing…
Now for a funny story…
My husband and I have a “Smile on a Stick” that we hide from each other around the house. It may not be found for days or weeks. One day we had a little tiff (they are far and few between)… He works swing so I rarely see him during the week. the day after the tiff, when I got in my car to go to work, I found the “Smile on a Stick” on my steering wheel and just sat there in the garage laughing so hard… tears of joy came from my eyes.
oh sweet girl, my heart goes out to you as you go through this time. i wish you wisdom and blessing as you make whatever choice you do… whatever your circumstances are.
i love silly jokes but this one comes from dad, the ultimate bad joke maker…. “if 50 cent and Nickelback got together for a concert, they’d call it 45 Cents.” lame, I know. but it’s terrible lameness (and coming from my dad) makes it laughable in a shake-your-head kind of way.
blessings
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Whenever my Grandma would make her gravy too thick, he would always say. “Honey, that gravy is thick enough to stick to your ribs!”
Well when my oldest was about 3, we set down to eat, and low and behold my gravy was thick. I looked at my hubby and I said, “wow that gravy will stick to your ribs.”
My son pulled his Tshirt up and looked at his ribs, then said, ” Nope Mommy, there’s none on my ribs.”
Such a sweet little guy he was.
Love,
Debxoxo
I saw the funniest thing today. It is bitterly cold with a few inches of snow on the ground here. My granddaughters , who live next door, rushed over to my house…wearing tank tops and capri pants!?! They were already tired of the cold and snow and thought that digging out some old summer clothes couild make the warm weather come back. I bet their Mom liked the mess in the closet. Ah…childlike faith. Thinking of you in my prayers. Sally
We had to put our Kitty-Bootsie down on Wed. she was 17.5 exactly this past week. Her kidneys started not working 100% back in January, and that continued to progress slowly, but then 2 weeks ago, she went suddenly blind…Vet said there is an actual disease in olde cats called “sudden blindness syndrone”. We made the right decision, but I am heart-broken.
So Christy, we are kindred spirits right now.
ok, something fun!
Things you can learn from a Cat ( or your cat):
Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging
a sock over it helps.
If you can’t get your way, lay across the keyboard
until you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you
just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few
hours.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Variety is the spice of Life. One day, ignore people;
the next day, annoy them.
Climb your way to the top, that’s why the curtains
are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each
corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the
bed tells them, “I care.”
When you have something important to say, try to say
it in the dead of night when you’re SURE everyone’s
sleeping. There’s no better way to get the attention
you deserve.
happy smiles!!
All of these comments are great! My mind is a blank right now on the jokes.
Keep warm…
Cheryl
OK…you asked for it! This one is a true story and is ‘on’ me…
Imagine this….it’s winter. It’s cold. Husband needed ride to work. Me, still in all my nudeness and only covered with a housecoat, threw on my coat and boots & took him. Arrive back in driveway and attempt to exit car. Hook on boot gets caught on some hanging wires in the car and I fell out into the snow…with one foot still up in the car and my nude naughty bits out to the cold wind. Imagine too, that we lived on a VERY busy route to the local community college.
’nuff said.
another one from my old dad- “I was golfing with my two buddies and I said to Bob, “Windy, ain’t it?”
“No,” Bob replied, “It’s Thursday.”
And Rich chimed in, “So am I. Let’s have a coke.”
My 11 year old’s favorite joke:
Two men walked into a bar.
The third one ducked.
hahahahaha
Just a quick funny that my grandotter asked at the dinner table one Sunday, Gramma ?, How do olives swim?
What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud
peace,
[…] ime to enter these giveaways too! Day 0, Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, & Day 4 Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)chrysti « Art By ChrystiPics of KL Trip […]
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
Whenever I am in need of a giggle, I think about the laugh of little children.
Here’s a question my son asked me one time:
“Mom, do snakes burp?”
I laughed pretty hard at Thanksgiving when my husband put the sweet potato casserole in the toaster oven and the marshmallows caught fire!
I told my teenage son today while we were going shopping, that I wanted to find a temporary tattoo and turquoise nail polish. The look on his face was quite hilarious- he thinks I’ve lost my mind. I am normally quite conservative. And I did buy the nail polish!
One time when I was a teenager, I came home and my sister’s were upset. They said that Danny Thomas had died. I asked them what happened. They said they didn’t know, the TV had just said something about Danny Thomas and sudden death (it was a golf tournament playoff or something!)
I used to have a student who would answer questions he didn’t know the answer to with some story about Chuck Norris. Used to make me laugh so hard while I was grading papers.
Last random story:
One time my husband and I were having a great time squirting my sons with a mini water gun from a second floor window. It was evening and they were sitting outside with a friend. They couldn’t figure out where the water was coming from. One said to the other, “I’m getting peed on by bats”.
Well, one more-
One time in class, I was trying to get some blue ink out of the bottle to make marbled paper with. It wouldn’t come out and I kept squeezing harder. The lid flew off and blue ink squirted all over my arms and down my shirt and pants. I turned around and told the kids, “I’m feeling rather blue today”.
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During a library visit with small children the discussion was about the new president and his girls and the fact that they would be getting a dog….so a dog would be living in the White House…and other presidents have had dogs who live at the White House. One little boy spoke up and commented, “Dogs have presidents, too?!”
This happened last week at my daughter’s school where she is a librarian.
Should Children Witness Child Birth ???
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the
baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom; Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and
asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place …….spank his butt again!”
A funny email from a friend today.
No jokes come to mind.
But…imagine this. Look at your monitor. Put infront of it, a kitten. Then there’s me, trying to look around her while typing this. And she’s (Maggie) swatting at the cursor.
Namaste
My six year old grandson told me this yesterday:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sheba.
Sheba who?
Sheba’ll be coming round the moutnatin when she comes (he actually sang the whole song before he started laughing!).
Happy days,
Joanie
Is it toooo late to enter???
My abilities are getting slimmer…but I can still read and enjoy the ART CANDY and WISH, DREAM,and TRY MY BEST
I am still writing poetry…being published and I started to write a Childrens Book.
I just do what I can, now
Thanks
flory
ummm, a joke, ummmm. it’s not coming to me. instead I’ll share a link to this fabulous video which can usually make me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTgeNw1guBs
and then these are kind of comical too:
i, too, am facing the loss of my beloved companion of 14 years-Maggie Mae…so joking is not near my heart today…hugs to you and your sadie…perhaps we can walk through this together…blessings, rebecca
5 things I hate…
Shoshonah Jennings who owns Hannah Grey had a contest on her blog. You had to list 5 things you really hate. The person who “amused” her the most, would be the winner of a flat rate box full of goodies……and I won!
here’s what I wrote:
Hah! only five?….. ok here are a few of my pet peeves:
1. i hate all the “menopause” “aging gracefully” and “you’re ok, you’re over 50- woohoo!” books that lie through omission. Oh, they tell you about the pot belly and the lack of sex drive and the weight gain…. but they don’t tell you about the crepy skin that shows up everywhere and gets caught in your epilator. ….or the hair issue. as in hair in odd places – bristles on your chin, long strands on your EYELIDS, course gray hair that needs to be redyed a week after you just had it done, that bald patch on the top of your head you can’t see. …and what about those pesky skin tags that turn up in the most darned places or those white spots that are the opposite of all those brown spots that take over your arms and legs and face and you are convinced they are irregular in shape and the wrong color and so you have them removed and it leaves a huge scarred hole but at my age better safe than sorry? hah! i could write a book about my “age” discoveries!
2. I hate that I think I can take an exercise class just like everyone else, and that my age is not a consideration. Like when my friend (age 57) and myself (above the age of consent – way above) signed up for an african drumming class. dress comfortable it said. yah right. Me and my pal, huffing and puffing in our sweats, having hot flashes, pouncing and dripping to the beat of 3 fabulous drummers with a drill sergeant instructor who wouldn’t let us stop for 2 hours alongside 20 something year olds in tiny tops and mini sarongs. it took 2 weeks to recover from that one. …and brings me to #3.
3. I hate it that whatever i do anymore makes me hurt , eventually. Stay in bed too long because you are being being indulgent…er i mean not feeling well, and darned if it doesn’t kill your back. Plant those sort of dried up -are-they-still-alive? tulip bulbs that have been chilling in the fridge for over a year – my butt muscles ache in places I didn’t know existed! wave to a friend across the parking lot – tennis elbow that takes 6 months to heal.
4. I hate my lack of mental clarity, menopause moments, brain farts…. whatever. you know, when you go to the sale of the century, after hours of gathering up your i can’t live without them finds and when it’s your turn finally to pay the cashier – where is that credit card? where’s my wallet? i know it’s in here somewhere? with 30 women behind you, not so humored by your dilemma. or how about standing in the bank line and noticing your shirt is on inside out and then trying to act cool like you did it on purpose? Or finding the car keys you lost a month ago in the freezer. hey my favorite was when i was half way down the street, riding my bike, in full gear – helmet, gloves, tank top,running shoes, camelback water bottle and fanny pack and i felt a bit of a chill …i’d forgotten to put on my exercise shorts and was still in my underwear.
5. i hate cockroaches. I love spiders and snakes and rats and all living creatures. except cockroaches. here in hawaii we have great big brown flying ones. I abhor them…they terrify me. really. once my husband picked up an old Quaker Oats box he’d stored some of his men’s treasures in. he was in his boxer shorts at the time. Well heck if there wasn’t a huge cockroach on the bottom of the box that was positioned perfectly to jump on his leg and run up his shorts. Good thing for him they aren’t poisonous – cuz I was long gone the moment I saw what was happening and he was on his own to defend his manhood!
I watch this whenever I am blue, it always cheers me up.
The blonde was so stupid that she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet!
Lynn
a funny story – well today I go out to move the car so my husband could finish removing the snow from the driveway. well snow had built up around the wheels and brakes – I move the car about twenty feet forward and apply the brakes….which are now frozen and slide into the garage door.
luckily nothing was hurt and he had a good laugh at my expense.
My 4 yr old daughter and I were putting up our nativity the other evening. She started to tell me the story of the birth of Christ. How the North Star shined brightly in the sky and guided the sheppards and wisemen to the Baby Jesus. She went on to say the angel blew her trumpet….woke up the baby Jesus who started to cry…and then woke up all the animals in the manger. The baby just would not stop crying….Merry HOHO.
It was on the second day of my married life (46 years, and
counting) when my husband and I went up to the motel
desk to check out. I was mortified when I found out my
DH had checked in with only his name – this was in the
day when you used Mr. and Mrs. – of course we were
only 18 so what could you expect. I was sure they
thought we were just renting the room to fool around.
Another rememberance is when my DH and I were going
to my junior prom. I had a beautiful strapless, short
dress and his parents wanted us to come to their house
so they could take our pictures. To my horror his
father, not known for his tack, said, “How are you
holding that dress up?). I just about dropped to the
floor because I wasn’t well endowed and he had voiced
my worry for the evening. I still put up with him as a
father-in-law and the comments kept on coming.
Enough of the personal….
Hi, Chrysti~
I think you have surely been giggling reading everyone’s jokes and stories. I certainly have.
You wanted a “bad pun” (and this is really bad!)
Perhaps you’ve noticed the Macy’s television advertisements this past month. I rarely watch tv, but I’d noticed it several times. It shows clips from past movies and shows that had someone(s) mentioning Macy’s. One of the clips was from the movie that starred …….. (tell you in a minute) as a little girl talking to Santa. I mentioned to my husband (who has absolutely no sense of humor due to heavy meds) who she was.
He said, “I know a joke”. (!!!!)
“What is the only kind of wood that doesn’t float?”
I had no clue. Okay, what?
“Natalie.”
Told you it was bad!
Thinking of you~
Judi
Why Men are just happier people:
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Graying hair adds attraction.
Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
THE REDHEAD
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office
and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead takes her finger,
pushes on her left breast and screams,
then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more
agony.
She pushes her knee and screams;
likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she says, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor says.
“Your finger is broken.”
Girls night out
The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!”
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed…3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNITE!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him why?, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh. shit.”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
what did the duck say to the waitress?
put it on my bill!!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: Don’t step on the ducks!” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, ‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’ The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on …. very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’ The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
Wishing you laughter…. Terry
my most embarrassing moment when i fell on my roller blades and the fire truck full of fireman pulled up and basically just looked over at my spread eagle on the ground and laughed at me—It hurt but I was more embarrised than anything
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If you want to hear my most embarrassing moment (I’m not proud of it!), you’ll have to email me! It’s a doozey! =)
Hugs!
Lori
[…] with it and slowly finding my peace. I am oh-so-grateful that I had nearly a year longer with her than I thought I would have, so thank you Dr. Jon for giving me that amazing […]
Tattoos are like stories — they’re symbolic of the important moments in your life. —-PAMELA ANDERSON