Finding Confidence

:: knowing ::
‘Knowing’ © Christy Hydeck 2009

“Be like the bird who, halting in his flight on a limb too slight,
yet sings, knowing he has wings.”

-Victor Hugo

I want to BE that bird.
Some days I AM that bird.
Other days I forget that I  too, have wings.

Self Confidence is a tricky, delicate thing if you ask me – and a subject I find myself reflecting on quite frequently. Circumstances in my life have changed drastically this year; challenging me on nearly every-single-little-or-big-aspect in my life. Until this year… I don’t think I had realized just how much I unintentionally looked elsewhere to validate my worth – when in truth it is my own validation that was so sorely needed. I suppose I thought I had just the right amount of confidence since I can easily rattle off my strengths, and balance that just as quickly with a list of my shortcomings. I don’t see myself as someone afraid to try things, yet it has become apparent that fear has kept from me so many possible joys I could have obtained had I just given something a go. I have been reminded of a (painfully) harsh lesson this year; that by protecting myself from failures, I have hurt myself more than if I had  just… well, let go. I gave others my power, instead of harnessing it myself… a mistake many of us all too often make.

We speak so often on the importance of self esteem, yet rarely do we acknowledge how it is obtained. Much like art, the importance lies in the process, not the result. Esteem isn’t  innate, it is built by overcoming challenges and learning how to cope with the inevitable failures that cross our paths. I am learning to look at life how I have always seen art and how I view creativity. I am adapting my mantra to fit my personal battles and not just my professional ones… it bears repeating:

For everything I create, there will be someone who loves it, someone who hates it, and someone else who could care less.” –Chrysti

So… ultimately, it is how I feel about  it that matters – the rest? It is just noise. I heard someone once say – ‘give it your best, and forget all the rest…’ doesn’t that ring so very, very true? Knowing that has always kept me focused on the journey and what gifts I stood to learn along the way. Now, I am learning how to apply it to the other aspects of my life… and yes, I am becoming more confident by the day… and where there is confidence, there is happiness….

All because I am simply allowing myself to fail.

What have you failed at recently? Cheers to both of our failures, and as a result… our triumphs.


 :: knowing ::

 OVER HALF OFF! Pre-order special on the 8×10 ‘Knowing’ (print shown above!)

  • $12.00 + $3.50 (US) shipping – October 6th – October 14th 2009.
  • Shipping begins on October 15th.
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5 Responses

  1. Oh, Christi… you are such a treasure. This is exactly what I needed to read on a day as stressful as this one is going to be.
    So, so glad I know you, even a little bit, and so glad I can read your words on a regular basis.
    The image literally took my breath away, what an amazing piece…
    Much love,

  2. Thanks for your words of wisdom. This something I struggle with daily, so I really appreciated what you had to say. Thanks for reminding me that it’s what I think that ultimately matters.

  3. I’m sorry to hear you have had a bad year, Christy. Unfortunately it comes to us all at some point. I don’t believe in ‘failure’ though. There are things that work for us and things that don’t. It’s innevetable so why beat yourself up over something that is a natural progression? Easier said than done, I know. I think that there is too much emphasis on success and failure these days: money, relationships, status, etc. How important are they at the end of the day? You can’t take them with you when you die. They will come and go so why would anyone feel the need to label situations or people ‘successes’ or ‘failures’?.

    I guess what I’m saying is that giving things a shot are more important that not doing them ‘cos of possible failure. That doesn’t mean that you have to try everything in the world – just try the things you want to and see how they fit. And most of all, don’t listen the the naysayers who say you can’t do it. :o) Lecture over – LOL.

  4. A great read! I got really frustrated this year looking for a job. Applying and applying, hearing nothing and hearing “no” — I applied for over twenty jobs and I am SO glad I didn’t get any of them, because the one that I did get is awesome!

  5. Thanks everyone!

    Gillian – I agree, in an ideal world — we wouldn’t have labels… but sadly, i don’t think they ar going anywhere. What we can do is take the power out of them… :-)

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